The title of the last blog was, Should I quit alcohol for good? I was sat in the pub on a Thursday night after work, just having one beer with food when I wrote that. After an unplanned drinking session, drinking myself into another day off work the next day. I realised finally....... The answer … Continue reading Step 1 – I admit I am powerless over alcohol.
This is turning out to be more of a journey than I thought. Twists, turns. Ups, huge downs, hard work, good times, hard times... who’d’ve thunk it. ...... It started as an egoic quest to remove thy self willing sword and strike it against the evil deamon of alcohol. To gallantly hold it’s head up … Continue reading Should I quit alcohol for good?
7 months sober, 2months of drinking again. Wow. 7 months of sobriety gave me a clear head like I had NEVER felt before. Never in my whole adult life anyway. Then with this fresh perspective I delved back into the world of drinking. Convinced that I could moderate this time. It was all an illusion. … Continue reading 7 months sober, 2 months drinking. The damage comparison.
30 days sober today... Really it should have been 10 months however. This blog was originally called ‘Matts beer free year’. That was the target. 1 year. On pure will power. It was not to be. I racked up nearly 7 months sober. But the wheels came off in mid July. In the height of … Continue reading 30 down, 15000(ish) to go…..
Went out yesterday. It was a pre wedding drinks for the ushers etc. An exchange of suits and a big old knees up. Got to say I found it fairly hard. And boring. Granted, I was tired. Been a tough few weeks. And also really the lads I was with were not ‘my group’ of … Continue reading Sobriety. Dealing with disconnect.
This part of my life is called....... work! Get up, go to work, come home DIY till 2100, sleep, repeat.. 2 weeks solid. Fried head. Somehow decided that I am a capable bathroom fitter and DIY specialist. Yes I can throw a tile on a wall, but do I really want to? Not anymore. Next … Continue reading DIY aids sobriety.
So, one week into ‘operation quit drinking ‘ phase 2. And i’m Feeling very mixed. I feel determined, confused, apprehensive and a bit sad. I feel different emotions every hour or so, with varying degrees of extremity. Like my mind is yet to settle and become content. In fact, come to think about it, I … Continue reading Recovery – week 1. Emotional management
Something has finally snapped. It’s a different energy now. I’ve had enough. I want to go beer free for good. The efforts of the turn of the year were finite. I always intended to go back to drinking deep down. The intention was to go back and become a ‘normal drinker’. But the truth it … Continue reading I’m an alcoholic. Now what.
So the question is, can I still call this blog ‘Matts beerfreeyear!?’ As I mentioned in my previous blog, I have a new paradigm now. I am practicing moderation. I feel good about it. I feel freer than before I started the year, and freer than the last few months. My urge to drink Thursday, … Continue reading A new paradigm!
Well, how do I say this? I failed. I didn’t complete the year. I came hurtling off the track... And landed face down in a big dollop of humble pie! Where do I start? It’s been a while since my last blog. So much has happened, or hasn’t happened as it turns out is the case. … Continue reading The middle way 🙂