ive been drinking over Xmas. And o intend to keep drinking until something else happens that makes me not want to drink....,
I previously blogged about values and principles. This blog was an attempt to understand them and the differences between them. Principles of living are so strong that they create the paradigm from which we view the world, view life. We live within our own set of principals subconsciously as we believe that that is the … Continue reading Stuck between paradigms.
7 months sober, 2months of drinking again. Wow. 7 months of sobriety gave me a clear head like I had NEVER felt before. Never in my whole adult life anyway. Then with this fresh perspective I delved back into the world of drinking. Convinced that I could moderate this time. It was all an illusion. … Continue reading 7 months sober, 2 months drinking. The damage comparison.
The biggest test yet has now been passed. It was my sisters wedding this weekend. The event of the year, a big glamorous wedding in a medieval castle in Cheshire. A fairytale setting. After a stressful morning and journey to the castle, We arrived a couple of hours early. The rest of the groomsmen were … Continue reading Beer free wedding!
30 days sober today... Really it should have been 10 months however. This blog was originally called ‘Matts beer free year’. That was the target. 1 year. On pure will power. It was not to be. I racked up nearly 7 months sober. But the wheels came off in mid July. In the height of … Continue reading 30 down, 15000(ish) to go…..
What are values? And what are principals? And what is the difference? What are my specific values and principals and do I live by them? What impact does living in line with ones own values and principles does it have on a persons overall sense of intrinsic worth? What happens when the two peoples, or … Continue reading What are Values and principals.
Went out yesterday. It was a pre wedding drinks for the ushers etc. An exchange of suits and a big old knees up. Got to say I found it fairly hard. And boring. Granted, I was tired. Been a tough few weeks. And also really the lads I was with were not ‘my group’ of … Continue reading Sobriety. Dealing with disconnect.
This part of my life is called....... work! Get up, go to work, come home DIY till 2100, sleep, repeat.. 2 weeks solid. Fried head. Somehow decided that I am a capable bathroom fitter and DIY specialist. Yes I can throw a tile on a wall, but do I really want to? Not anymore. Next … Continue reading DIY aids sobriety.
Sat here now hanckering thinking about drinking persistently. thinking about where and why and how. thinking about drinking but not drinking now. Just one last blow out, blow the stresses away. one simple drink at the end of the day. But thinking about drinking is really the start of the downwards spiral into the … Continue reading The lord and the devil….
So, one week into ‘operation quit drinking ‘ phase 2. And i’m Feeling very mixed. I feel determined, confused, apprehensive and a bit sad. I feel different emotions every hour or so, with varying degrees of extremity. Like my mind is yet to settle and become content. In fact, come to think about it, I … Continue reading Recovery – week 1. Emotional management