Resting guiltily….

Do you know when you get knocked out of your flow in life and you find it so hard to get going again. Well I’ve had a lot of that going on recently.

I was flying! I was up at 0500 every morning, insanity training, eating healthy, motivated at work, focussing on bigger goals etc. Then bam! Life happened. I took my foot off the gas, and have not been able to get going again since.

Looking back we went on holiday, to Haven. It was fantastic, a nice little break. Very child oriented and I look forward to Harrison being old enough to have fun there. But it was still nice to get away.

But that was over a week ago and my motivation levels have just been zero since.

It has been very hot, and clammy, and it’s hard to motivate anything in this weather.  And I have felt tired. And work has been fairly slow going, so it’s difficult to pump energy into something that’s not required.

But these are all excuses!!

I know what I need to do to get going again, and that is exercise! It’s always exercise!

I aimed to get up this morning and do the next insanity workout, but I feel like I’m bored of the insanity sessions now. The same stuff, as challenging as it is, over and over again. Nope. Not feeling it.

So I need something else. And I’ve found it.

I’ve booked into a crossfit gym, the class starts at 0600 and so it gets me up and out of bed for 0500 as normal, but gives me an hour to get ready, drive over, and wake up a bit better.

Really looking forward to the challenge!

i don’t like to give up on anything, and I’m not giving up on insanity. I’m putting it on hold for now. It’s just not the right time to give it what it needs.

Thank you insanity for the last month of hiit training. It 100% has not been wasted.

Now time to step it up a level.

You know interestingly enough, these last few demotivated weeks, I’ve had the strongest urges to drink! I’ve identified this before. It comes in waves. And the waves come when you are fatigued, when you are lethargic, when you are not standing guard mentally.

I actually visualised drinking, and the pleasure of a nice cold beer in the warm sun. I wanted to lose consiousness, I wanted to feel mentally wobbly. And that’s the truth. But only because I was already mentally relaxed.

When we are sharp, the last thing that we want is something dulling our senses.

So I practiced thinking about the fact that one drink would destroy everything I have built and achieved in the last 5 months. It would make it all come shamefully crashing down and leave me in a world of guilt and pain. That one drink would ruin it all.


So we go again. My oars have been out of the water for a bit too long for my liking, time to plunge back in and pull again, with grace and strength.

Onwards and upwards…… 🙂

One thought on “Resting guiltily….

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