Today was a day that I saw a bit of daylight. A margin of daylight glimmering through in the gap between my ‘old self’ and the ‘new me’. The sober, healthy me.
I started the day and the week well. I belted out a loud, out of tune rendition of Celine Dions ‘think twice, on the way to the gym at 0600. Then completed a decent workout before, getting into work before anyone else at 0700 and eating a healthy breakfast. Ready to go. Feeling good. Then my old self walked in.
In this case my old self takes the form and shape of my work colleague. He looked knackered, sounded croaky and started telling me about the traumas of this weekends drinking session. How it consisted of late nights and arguments, things being thrown, doors being slammed, and it’s all ‘her fault’.
I felt the glimmer of daylight.
I must say that I do not take pleasure in other people’s misfortune. And this isn’t the case, just an observation.
Whilst I was productive, good natured and professional. Said colleague laboured through the day. I’ve been there many times. I had a mixture of pity and pride going on.
Then a miraculous thing happened.
During a conversation in which I was enquiring as to what role he might have had in the whole domestic war he was involved in, he made a statement. He had a sort of realisation moment and I enthusiastically agreed with him.
He said ‘all of my problems in life are down to alcohol’ ‘all of them’, ‘but what would I do if I didn’t drink!?’ He then said something that made me proud and inspired to carry on doing what I’m doing. ‘I think I’m going to take a leaf out of your book and have a clean break from it for a while’.
Now, whether he does, or he doesn’t, at least he is toying with the idea. I hope he does.
For me it was additional reinforcement. If I could inspire a hardened drinker, (probably more hardened than I was) to consider a break, then I’m doing something right.
I haven’t spoken about what I’m doing, unless asked. I’m just getting on with my life and becoming increasingly energetic, authentic and confident. The light inside me is beginning to shine and I hope that by igniting that light in myself, I’m allowing others to light their own lights. I would love that to be the case.
Our inner flame is like a candle, lighting up another takes nothing away from your own.
So I compel you to go about your day being who you are, and be who you are with pride. You never know who you might inspire.
Onwards and upwards 🙂