Hardest day/night yet yesterday.
Do you know one of them days when you lose all motivation, you just start the day a bit flat, eat whatever you want and just generally grind down the hours and get through the day?
Well that was yesterday.
All the energy and enthusiasm that I’ve approached the year with so far had evaporated. I broke my day up into periods of coffee and chocolate highs.
My work colleagues finished at 3 in the afternoon and were ordering their first pint at 3.15. I was dragged into people showing up late for a meeting and finally got home at about 5.30. 16” Pizza in hand.
I just felt tired, all day. And this is when it struck.
After work, driving home I passed a couple of pubs that I used to stop at every now and then, after days like yesterday. And the pull was strong. I just wanted to go in and start drinking a few beers. Just to ‘switch off’.
Lucky earlier in the day I’d read a nice little quote, I don’t know who it was from unfortunately, but it was something like this. ‘Day by day, brick by brick, I’m building a nice little shelter from alcohol, that I’m becoming quite proud of, yet any sort of weak moment now won’t just remove one brick, it will knock down my whole house. I won’t allow it’. Beautiful.
These words resonated through my head and I just drove on by. Straight to the pizza shop. Why not!? I deserved it.
Today I feel brand new again, like it’s New Year’s Day all over again. I’ve been for a morning run already and I feel fresh and good. I feel renewed and I feel grateful for that quote that I read and also the bricks and the walls that I have started to put in place.
We cant be ‘on it’ all the time. It’s impossible. It’s human nature. We have to accept that some days we’re just not gonna feel like turning up. It’s those days that the battles are won. It’s those days when we just have to ride the storm. If we keep winning the battles, eventually we’ll win the war.
I just keep reminding myself:
When it’s good, it’s not always going to be this way, appreciate it. When it’s bad, it’s not always going to be this way, ride it out.
Onwards and Upwards 🙂