Ive just awoken from a very disturbing nightmare. A very strange dream, but it recurred all night and it was so vivid that I had to check my phone for updates to see if it was true, and that I was actually awake.
I just dreamed that I killed my dad!?
The dream was like the film inception, in that I thought I’d woken from it, only to investigate and find out it was still true so I was trying to figure out if I was still dreaming, until I snapped out of that dream and then dropped down another dream level. Until I eventually woke up. Then like I said I had to search my phone and my mind to figure out if it was true or if I was fully awake. I felt very emotional and grateful when I realised it was just a dream.
Now dreams are interpretations of the subconscious mind. They are visual representations of what is going on beneath the surface. With practice we can become quite adept at looking at what is going on in our waking life and figuring out the interpretation. I’ve been practicing for a good while now. So when I remember a dream, I will immediately pick out the key symbols, then go on http://www.dreammoods.com (for example) and link the common interpretations of these symbols. I’ve noticed that the more I do this, the more I remember my dreams, the more vivid they become, the more attuned to my subconscious I feel and sometimes I can actually wake within a dream and start to manipulate my environment. (But that’s a whole other blog).
If dreams are representations of the subconscious, does that mean I want to kill my dad? Or I have any repressed rage against him. Certainly not, I love him dearly.
See, the interesting thing in the dream was the location that this all happened. It was in the place that we used to hang around and drink cans as teenagers, way back in the day. And based on everything I’m going through ie a beer free year, I’m sure that it was a positive dream of progress.
Maybe I’ve always seen drinking as an ‘adult thing to do’. Maybe I’ve hated it all these years but I’ve used it as a tool to make me feel grown up? Maybe now that I’m a new dad I can start to let go of all these reliances towards my parents, towards alcohol?
Although it was a horrible dream, I feel like it’s my subconscious killing off attachments to both alcohol and also to my parents to a certain extent. I actually feel uplifted by the dream.
This journey is certainly turning out to be deeper and more interesting than I thought it would be!
Onwards and upwards!